Earlier I was watering the big pots of sea grass in the parking lot when I noticed a woman wandering around. What follows is the actual bizarre conversation.
Me, to the wandering woman, hereafter called ‘the Ditz’: “Excuse me, may I help you?’
The Ditz: “I’m looking for 109.”
Me: “The address or apartment number?”
The Ditz: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Well, this building’s street address is 109. We do not have an apartment 109.”
The Ditz gave me a blank stare and began walking towards the back stairwell.
Me, trying to deter any drama, asked: “What is your friend’s name?”
The Ditz: “I don’t know.”
Me (Are you kidding me!): “How can you say that he's your friend when you don’t even know his name?”
The Ditz giggled.
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t have you walking around knocking on random doors.”
Me: “What does your friend look like?”
The Ditz: Blank look and another giggle. Yowzer! (Did she meet him in a bar last night? Or on the beach this morning?)
Me, foolishly repeated: “What does he look like?”
The Ditz: “Blonde.”
Me: “How tall, 5’10 or 6’5?”
The Ditz: Shrugged and giggled and stated that he was 5’10”.
Okay, I am officially done, so I tried to steer her towards the front of the parking lot and hopefully down the block.
Then the ‘friend’ popped out of his door and called her name.
This tenant is a huge, burly guy, about 6’5, and wears a size 3x!
I turned to the Ditz and asked, “I AM 5’8” obviously he is well over 6 feet tall, NOT 5’10”!!”
The Ditz giggled.
He's blonde and she's a Ditz: Oh, those two are so made for each other. Sigh.
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