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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Punxsutawney Phil to be Prosecuted

Yep the little rodent lied to us all and it’s about time someone did something about this gross miscarriage of our hopes of an early Spring!

This story made all the major news outlets, it is the comic relief that all of us so desperately needed. Although one news station actually felt the need to add a disclaimer to explain that this was all done in jest. Yes, people can be gullible.

So hats off to Michael Gmoser, Prosecuting Attorney of Butler County, Ohio, I like your style.

So without further fanfare, please click here for the video: Punxsutawney Phil, and have a good laugh. Video was posted on CNN.com.

BTW, this video posted on YouTube, features Phil's faulty prediction from last year, 2012. Phil is indeed guilty as charged!

And to no surprise, Phil has his very own website: Punxsutawney.com

I explored it earlier and Phil has his own blog, Must admit, I am a tad jealous, but he does seem to have a huge team, including the Inner Circle to help him write and manage his many duties.

The site is worth exploring for the history of the event and for the wonderful wit of its writers.

A spirits laced hot chocolate may be sipped while watching these videos.

As for the Jersey Shore, I found buds on the Wisteria vine, so there is hope for warm weather. Brrrr.

PS: Credit for above image from www.foxnews.com.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Prospective Tenants: “The Good, the Bad
and the Ugly”

Okay, these are just the Bad and the Ugly.

It is so much harder than you think to find a good tenant and build a nice community. However, prospective tenants do need to present themselves, less formally than say a job interview, but convince me that I want you living next door to me.

The Bad

Gotta admit, some applicants just look like fascinating train wrecks as they knock on my door.

  • You are rude to me. Really, ya wanna rethink that ‘tude?
  • You have come with your extended family, and your girlfriend is pregnant. I suspect your extended family may come to visit, indefinitely.
  • You look like you just rolled out of bed and dressed from the laundry hamper.
  • You work off the books but can’t prove income. Ya don’t see my problem with this.
  • You smell like pot. Smoking a doobie before knocking on my door is not the smartest choice that you made today.
  • You are recommended by a difficult tenant. (see my post on Social Pages)
  • Repeatedly, a tenant’s granddaughter, with six (yes, 6) children has asked to move in, 'just until she finds something bigger.' These are ONE-bedroom units, two people only!
    Their solution: Three of the kids will stay with Grandpa downstairs, the three others will live with her.
    I don’t know about this new math, but I think the town’s housing board will calculate that fine real quick.

    BTW, Grandpa asked us, again, just a few hours ago, this time only one child would live with him.
    Me (Back to the math): "That would leave several children living with your daughter in a one-bedroom unit, and that is illegal."
    Grandpa (the tenant): “How will they (the authorities) know?”
    Me: There is a school system and several tenants who do not want a passel of children running underfoot.
The Ugly

A tenant from the building NEXT door was found showing our empty units to his buddies as prospective tenants for us. He even asked us for blank applications (we refused). He boldly walked into an unit, while men were working, and acted as our agent. The man had brass. His landlord probably danced when he moved out.

And this one Pee’d

A tenant, who I call Eeyore (think Winnie the Pooh), brought an acquaintance to look at a unit. The man was disheveled, wore ill-fitting and out-dated clothes and told a very convoluted story about leaving his wife, a senior residence, then requested rental assistance.

He repeatedly asked for MY number, and if he could call me? Ya know, in case he had questions.

Yikes! Be still my heart.

Finally, Eeyore and friend left. I called to warn the Business Manager.

While Eeyore drove him home, this friend pee’d in his car! Yes, the man pee’d in his pants on the car seat.

And said friend merely stated: “Leave the windows open, it’ll dry,” and walked away.

Ya can’t make these up.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Winter Storm Ukko

I am soooo over winter; Nor'easters; snow; cold AND rain; gale force winds WITH rain. Tomorrow is Spring...I better see some warm weather or else!!!

I got nothing to write on my blog besides complaining about this cold, miserable weather. I hate shoveling snow. Our tenant, Mr.-I-Am-In-Charge, comes out to shovel only AFTER he hears me scraping the decks, then tries to take all the credit by waving to the tenants—like he did all the work all by himself—then he has the nerve to pass a bill for his work. AAARRGGH!!

We all know this guy, he pops up in our workplaces and families. He is never around for the grunt work, never follows the game plan, but is always front and center for the credit. Can I get a collective groan of sympathy?

Key West

If I had extra money, I would be in Key West. I lived there for a season when I was 21 and have great memories of SUNSHINE and WARMTH and snorkeling in those incredible waters. I wouldn’t mind strolling down Duval Street one more time. Sigh.

They Gave Them Names?! For Tweeting?!

But I digress, I was complaining about winter storms. Do we need to name them? These storms actually became one long blur. So I did a search on this new trend of naming Winter Storms. The powers that be decided that since they are similar to tropical systems, giving a name would raise public awareness, increase storm preparedness, and of course, make tweeting easier.

“Naming winter storms will raise awareness, which will lead to more pro-active efforts to plan ahead, resulting in less impact on the public overall.” Tom Niziol weather.com

So, listed below were the chosen names for the 2012–2013 season, along with a brief description of their origins. I am impressed with the eclectic range—ancient Greek and Norse gods, historical figures from the early Roman and Mongol empires, Shakespeare and a NYC subway line.

Credit must be given to Weather.com

Athena: The Greek goddess of wisdom, courage, inspirations, justice, mathematics and all things wonderful.

Brutus: Roman Senator and best known assassin of Julius Caesar.

Caesar: Title used by Roman and Byzantine emperors.

Draco: The first legislator of Athens in Ancient Greece.

Euclid: A mathematician in Ancient Greece, the father of geometry.

Freyr: A Norse god associated with fair weather, among other things.

Gandolf: A character in a 1896 fantasy novel in a pseudo-medieval countryside.

Helen: In Greek mythology, Helen of Troy was the daughter of Zeus.

Iago: Enemy of Othello in Shakespeare’s play, Othello.

Jove: The English name for Jupiter, the Roman god of light and sky.

Khan: Mongolian conqueror and emperor of the Mongol empire.

Luna: The divine embodiment of the moon in Roman mythology.

Magnus: The Father of Europe, Charlemagne the Great, in Latin: Carolus Magnus.

Nemo: A Greek boy’s name meaning "from the valley," means "nobody" in Latin.

Orko: The thunder god in Basque mythology.

Plato: Greek philosopher and mathematician, who was named by his wrestling coach.

Q: The Broadway Express subway line in New York City.

Rocky: A single mountain in the Rockies.

Saturn: Roman god of time, also the namesake of the planet Saturn in our solar system.

Triton: In Greek mythology, the messenger of the deep sea, son of Poseidon.

Ukko: In Finnish mythology, the god of the sky and weather.

Virgil: One of ancient Rome’s greatest poets.

Walda: Name from Old German meaning “ruler.”

Xerxes: The fourth king of the Persian Achaemenid Empire, Xerxes the Great.

Yogi: People who do yoga.

Zeus: In Greek mythology, the supreme ruler of Mount Olympus and the gods who lived there.

Congrats! You are now Smarter than a Fifth Grader!

Congratulations to all of you who actually read the list all the way through! It was a trip down memory lane of college lit classes of long ago (at least for me, ha).

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

One Really Bad Job Ad

Job hunting is tough enough, some ads cram the company history, extensive software requirements, plus an incredible list of responsibilities, then will add a punch line for the requirements such as: High School diploma or GED, 2 years experience.

So this Secretary ad was posted on a recent job board (language is for real, I added the comments in italics, remember, I am an editor).

The Actual Ad with Comments:

Full time, established, small professional pleasant, busy office with flex hours. No weekends or evenings.

  • This is not a full sentence or coherent thought.
  • Comma needed between “professional pleasant”
  • Description of business?
  • Flex hours, so I can sorta come in late?

Variety of secretarial duties, (No phones), Draft reports, correspondence and Internet research.

  • Why is ‘No’ capped?
  • Commas before and after the parenthesis are redundant.
  • Why is ‘Draft’ capped, it doesn’t start a sentence, however, points for capping “Internet.”

Skills: Proficient with PC’s, Microsoft Office; Word, Outlook. Photoshop or Image Expert, (Or similar) . Excellent grammar, minimum 60 words per minute.

  • PC is marked possessive here, or is it how many plural PCs must I operate—separately or at the same time?
  • A semi-colon does not precede a list!
  • What the heck is “image expert” or similar?
  • Again, a comma BEFORE parens?
  • “Excellent grammar”…Have you actually read your copy?! (Maybe English is your 3rd language, if so, pardon me.)
  • What is 60 words per minute? My reading speed or must I assume 60 typing?

Must be professional self starter, organized, able to multi-task, detail oriented, interest in the Arts a plus. Salary based on abilities.

  • Where is the hyphen? ‘Self-starter’ would be correct
  • “Organized.” Why bother, the writer is not organized, why should the candidate even try?
  • Multitask is one word, way overused, but still is one word.
  • “Detail oriented,” Whew, because details are lacking here.
  • “Interest in the Arts” finally a clue to the business!
  • Why is salary mentioned here AND at the end of this convoluted mess?

Paid vacation and benefits available.

  • A long vacation and massive benefits will be required. (Meds may also be necessary.)

E-mail resume and salary requirement, do not list salary negotiable. Immediate opening - with training.

  • Does all this information belong on the same line?
  • “Immediate opening” scares me, I can only speculate why the last person left.
  • Poor use of a hyphen: Hyphens connect words; en dash between dates; and em dash between words. Maybe only word geeks know that.
  • WHAT training besides the software requirements listed above?

No phone calls please. Thank you.

  • Ya didn’t list a #$@#$ phone number for me to call!
My reply:

So this was actually part of my cover letter:

“However, I am curious about the job description that was posted, as it is rather chaotic and full of grammar and typographical errors, which invites me to speculate: is this part of the pre-interview test or do you really need a word-warrior as myself?”

If this company calls me back I will definitely let you know!