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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Formidable Gladiator-Style Hub Caps



We drove into Manhattan a few weeks ago and we were working our way through the cross-streets to the East Side. Traffic was heavy, but moving.

Then I spotted these coming at me. By the time I grabbed the cell phone and flipped to camera, the truck had passed, but these rear-view shots are still impressive.

I gotta ask, Are Those Spikes Street Legal?!

Yikes! Worthy of Mel Gibson’s Mad Max movies or a Roman chariot race.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Just Some Funny Local Signs



In the spirit of ‘Deflategate,” the ridiculous scandal regarding The New England Patriots deliberately deflating their footballs to gain an unfair advantage on the playing field, Second Life Bike Shop in Asbury Park posted this sign. Good people, helpful, run a bike clinic for the local youth and donate bikes, plus they have repaired the handicapped walker quickly.







In all fairness to WaWa, they simply placed a generic two-sided sign on their door. Problem is, this is strictly an Exit Only door: No handle to pull to go back in.






The rest of the following signs have some strange typos, misspellings or punctuation that should never have slipped past the sign maker. So sad.


This is from the Bradley Beach Police Dept foyer. The sign for the Ladies’ Room simply reads “Women.”

So why does the sign for the Men’s room read “Mens?”

You can have two or more Men, but you can never have two or more Mens.

Methinks: Men’s or just Men.






I snapped this one while parking outside a local store. It’s a sleeper, you have to read all the words on the side of this donation bin.

Two booboos:

  • Charitie is actually spelled Charity
  • However, please explain the phrase,“And give to employees occupation.” First, the apostrophe is missing from 'employees,' but I beg for clarification, don’t your employees HAVE an occupation?

I’m confused.




And my least favorite!

This perplexing sign stood forever on Main Street:

Why is there an apostrophe after “Git?”

It is NOT a contraction.

It is NOT denoting possession.

Of course, a woman standing inside a large piece of pottery, being fired up, was simply disturbing.


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire!

We all met this person back in Grammar School, followed by multiple incarnations in our neighborhoods, workplaces, and sadly, maybe our extended families.

They are the first to cry, “Unfair!” then go running to the teacher, mommy, the boss, then from desk to desk complaining, plus burning up the phones with their convoluted tales of woe.

Aargh! The Endless Drama

They are always the misunderstood victim, the world revolves around their imaginative persecution dramas, and just how hard their lives are: Oh, the tears.

The odd thing is, there never seems to be a resolution to any of their imaginary dramas, they just invent the next one, and the next one, ad naseum.

They burn through friends, their alliances turn on each other, and if you are unfortunate enough to work with them, coworkers rapidly turnover.

Confront Them or Ignore Them?

They are bullies.

I try to follow the advice from Proverbs 29:9. “If a wise man contend with a stubborn fool, he may rant and rave, but either way there is no peace and quiet.”

However, everyone has their limits.

I did capture her on my cell phone video as she went down the stairs with her dog, then turned a quick right and led her dog straight into the rock garden, both of them trampled the plants underfoot and left a deposit of unwanted “fertilizer.”

I do apologize as the video is so jumpy, but understandably, I was ticked off.

This garden grew the gigantic 8’ tall sunflowers that made our building famous! And here she is, the infamous Garden Grinch caught in the act.


So without further ado, here is the video, including a still shot of her glaring back up at me before she ducked back behind the wall. Clearly she is reflected in the puddles as she brazenly stood. Later she left several open bags of “fertilizer” for me out of range of the security cameras. Awwwh, thanks!

P.S.: My apologies, the video simply will not display correctly, tried several versions/software. Dratz.


Monday, March 9, 2015

Police at 1:15 am

Yeah, I have insomnia, but on those rare nights when I am ACTUALLY asleep, I just love dumb problems.

Tenant #1 calls, battle with downstairs neighbor, Tenant #2.

Something about them making too much noise when they came home, followed by a broom loudly banging on the ceiling (their floor).

He said/She said

Both tenants have their merits, but it was #@$# 1:00 in the morning!

Tenants #1 knocked on my door, they are upset.

Tenant #2 was ringing my phone, hanging up, then ringing again.

The Police knocked on my door.

At 1:15 in the morning I had lots of company.

But as the police are standing in my living room, one of the officers was casually scanning my home.

Oh Crap! Forget vanity.
  • I was in old sweats and a T-shirt.
  • Dishes were cleaned, but as I had cooked up a storm earlier, they were piled periously high in the drainer.
  • I had also done 6 loads of laundry, all of it had been neatly folded and most of it was put away; HOWEVER, as I had been switching around the summer/winter and donate items, there were piles of clothes on every flat surface: the sofa, chairs and cabinetry.
Ouch for my vanity.

But in my head, I was recalling an old song by Paul Simon: "One Man's Ceiling is Aother Man's Floor" and that helped maintain my sanity.

Following are a few of the lyrics, click on the link for the song. It’s cute, it’s reality and it helped me through a no-win evening. Sigh.


There's been some hard feelings here

About some words that were said

Been some hard feelings here and what is more

It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools

Remember one man's ceiling is another man's floor

One man's ceiling is another man's floor

There's been some strange goin's on

And some folks have come and gone

Like the elevator man don't work no more

Remember one man's ceiling is another man's floor, goddamn

One man's ceiling is another man's floor


lyrics courtesy of http://www.metrolyrics.com/one-mans-ceiling-is-another-mans-floor-lyrics-paul-simon.html


Sunday, January 4, 2015

Peeping Tom

Somedays I feel as though I live in a fishbowl, tenants often stop in the apartment or look for me while I am working outside. A live-in manager is really on-call 24/7. It comes with the territory, however, MOST tenants do respect privacy, some however, have felt it is their right to toss all manners and respect to the winds.

Lost Keys

Earlier one day a tenant and I were texting back and forth; they had their lost keys, were locked out and would be coming home late. No problem I replied, just CALL if after 10 pm: A reasonable request. Haha.

11:30 PM

In my front window, I have a small fan, and with the blinds dropped down and the curtains pulled around the sides, I was never concerned about privacy. How naïve!

Since I had not heard from said tenant, I assumed that their keys had been found and would not need my copy. I was sitting in my bathrobe at the kitchen table watching the end of the evening news, and ready for bed. Until I heard a voice shouting through the window fan, not calling MY name but for my brother-in-law!

I jumped, and as I yanked the door open, the first words out of my mouth were not, “How may I help you?”

This tenant did not knock on the door; they were peering through the window fan and hollering for my brother-in-law!

This tenant looked up at me then bent down again and continued hollering through the window!

Cannot make this up

I demanded to know why they didn’t knock first!

I demanded to know why are they calling for my brother-in-law when they saw me at the table?

In addition, WHY are you still demanding to speak to him?

And when the @$#@#$ hell do you think it is EVER okay to look through my windows? You walked by the door and did not knock!

Tenant: “I need to speak to your brother-in-law.”

Me: “Excuse you! You expect me to wake him from a sound sleep, drag a handicapped man out of bed just for you?”

Tenant, again: “I need to speak to your brother-in-law.”

This went around a few times, along with the excuses that it was, “NOT my fault! I have family problems!”

Yeah, and I have tenant problems.

Me: “Do you still need your apartment key?”

When they nodded yes, and as I stepped back to get them, I turned around and very strongly warned: “You are NOT to come in here, am I clear?”

I gave the key with the conditions NOT to return it until morning.

The Lack of Conclusion:

Said tenant has never apologized, or even considered that it was wrong to peek through my window, nor explained just why it was so urgent to drag a handicapped man out of bed. They have stated that they are scared of me.

I’m confused: me in pajamas half asleep, late at night and someone peeking through my window then hollering for someone else. I dunno know, methinks they got off easy.