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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire!

We all met this person back in Grammar School, followed by multiple incarnations in our neighborhoods, workplaces, and sadly, maybe our extended families.

They are the first to cry, “Unfair!” then go running to the teacher, mommy, the boss, then from desk to desk complaining, plus burning up the phones with their convoluted tales of woe.

Aargh! The Endless Drama

They are always the misunderstood victim, the world revolves around their imaginative persecution dramas, and just how hard their lives are: Oh, the tears.

The odd thing is, there never seems to be a resolution to any of their imaginary dramas, they just invent the next one, and the next one, ad naseum.

They burn through friends, their alliances turn on each other, and if you are unfortunate enough to work with them, coworkers rapidly turnover.

Confront Them or Ignore Them?

They are bullies.

I try to follow the advice from Proverbs 29:9. “If a wise man contend with a stubborn fool, he may rant and rave, but either way there is no peace and quiet.”

However, everyone has their limits.

I did capture her on my cell phone video as she went down the stairs with her dog, then turned a quick right and led her dog straight into the rock garden, both of them trampled the plants underfoot and left a deposit of unwanted “fertilizer.”

I do apologize as the video is so jumpy, but understandably, I was ticked off.

This garden grew the gigantic 8’ tall sunflowers that made our building famous! And here she is, the infamous Garden Grinch caught in the act.

So without further ado, here is the video, including a still shot of her glaring back up at me before she ducked back behind the wall. Clearly she is reflected in the puddles as she brazenly stood. Later she left several open bags of “fertilizer” for me out of range of the security cameras. Awwwh, thanks!

P.S.: My apologies, the video simply will not display correctly, tried several versions/software. Dratz.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Police at 1:15 am

Yeah, I have insomnia, but on those rare nights when I am ACTUALLY asleep, I just love dumb problems.

Tenant #1 calls, battle with downstairs neighbor, Tenant #2.

Something about them making too much noise when they came home, followed by a broom loudly banging on the ceiling (their floor).

He said/She said

Both tenants have their merits, but it was #@$# 1:00 in the morning!

Tenants #1 knocked on my door, they are upset.

Tenant #2 was ringing my phone, hanging up, then ringing again.

The Police knocked on my door.

At 1:15 in the morning I had lots of company.

But as the police are standing in my living room, one of the officers was casually scanning my home.

Oh Crap! Forget vanity.
  • I was in old sweats and a T-shirt.
  • Dishes were cleaned, but as I had cooked up a storm earlier, they were piled periously high in the drainer.
  • I had also done 6 loads of laundry, all of it had been neatly folded and most of it was put away; HOWEVER, as I had been switching around the summer/winter and donate items, there were piles of clothes on every flat surface: the sofa, chairs and cabinetry.
Ouch for my vanity.

But in my head, I was recalling an old song by Paul Simon: "One Man's Ceiling is Aother Man's Floor" and that helped maintain my sanity.

Following are a few of the lyrics, click on the link for the song. It’s cute, it’s reality and it helped me through a no-win evening. Sigh.

There's been some hard feelings here

About some words that were said

Been some hard feelings here and what is more

It's just apartment house rules so all you 'partment fools

Remember one man's ceiling is another man's floor

One man's ceiling is another man's floor

There's been some strange goin's on

And some folks have come and gone

Like the elevator man don't work no more

Remember one man's ceiling is another man's floor, goddamn

One man's ceiling is another man's floor

lyrics courtesy of

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Peeping Tom

Somedays I feel as though I live in a fishbowl, tenants often stop in the apartment or look for me while I am working outside. A live-in manager is really on-call 24/7. It comes with the territory, however, MOST tenants do respect privacy, some however, have felt it is their right to toss all manners and respect to the winds.

Lost Keys

Earlier one day a tenant and I were texting back and forth; they had their lost keys, were locked out and would be coming home late. No problem I replied, just CALL if after 10 pm: A reasonable request. Haha.

11:30 PM

In my front window, I have a small fan, and with the blinds dropped down and the curtains pulled around the sides, I was never concerned about privacy. How naïve!

Since I had not heard from said tenant, I assumed that their keys had been found and would not need my copy. I was sitting in my bathrobe at the kitchen table watching the end of the evening news, and ready for bed. Until I heard a voice shouting through the window fan, not calling MY name but for my brother-in-law!

I jumped, and as I yanked the door open, the first words out of my mouth were not, “How may I help you?”

This tenant did not knock on the door; they were peering through the window fan and hollering for my brother-in-law!

This tenant looked up at me then bent down again and continued hollering through the window!

Cannot make this up

I demanded to know why they didn’t knock first!

I demanded to know why are they calling for my brother-in-law when they saw me at the table?

In addition, WHY are you still demanding to speak to him?

And when the @$#@#$ hell do you think it is EVER okay to look through my windows? You walked by the door and did not knock!

Tenant: “I need to speak to your brother-in-law.”

Me: “Excuse you! You expect me to wake him from a sound sleep, drag a handicapped man out of bed just for you?”

Tenant, again: “I need to speak to your brother-in-law.”

This went around a few times, along with the excuses that it was, “NOT my fault! I have family problems!”

Yeah, and I have tenant problems.

Me: “Do you still need your apartment key?”

When they nodded yes, and as I stepped back to get them, I turned around and very strongly warned: “You are NOT to come in here, am I clear?”

I gave the key with the conditions NOT to return it until morning.

The Lack of Conclusion:

Said tenant has never apologized, or even considered that it was wrong to peek through my window, nor explained just why it was so urgent to drag a handicapped man out of bed. They have stated that they are scared of me.

I’m confused: me in pajamas half asleep, late at night and someone peeking through my window then hollering for someone else. I dunno know, methinks they got off easy.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Not a very auspicious start to the New Year.

Beautiful day, brisk, sunny.

Went to the bank, joked with person inside while waiting for ATM.

Met same person out in lot, again.

We proved the theory that TWO cars CANNOT occupy the same spot at the same time. Translation: we backed up into each other.

Day two of New Year. (Hopefully ALL the bad luck is now used up for the year?)

So sad, this car is treated like a pickup truck at Home Depot, loaded with ladders, windows, doors, trim, in short, the wholeshebang! Heck, the staff brags about much my car can hold.

Never a knick in the Contractors parking lot, and there are some well-worn trucks out there.

A simple trip to the bank has cost me some $$$.

So not fair.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

She Flipped Me the Bird!

‘Twas a very busy day: contractors, laundry and the roofers showed up a day early.

The roofers came with a large flatbed truck, with a boom to load shingles up on the rooftop. This meant we had to scramble to have the tenants move all cars out of the lot, and luckily, most were at work, but just the same, who wants to be hustled to jockey cars around on your day off?

While Al and I were standing on the deck watching the foreman wave his truck in, women in a SUV drove up, asked to be let into the parking lot as, “They were only dropping off.” And the foreman obliged.

I knew the SUV; they are friends of a difficult tenant. The request to pull in was not an issue, however, the passenger glaring at me as they drove in, then twisting her head around to continue staring at me was bizarre.

As they backed out, the passenger was still staring as she passed me, her hands laying across her belly, I saw her repeatedly flick her middle finger. There was no mistaking the grin on her face and her hand gesture. I leaned over to Al and laughed, “She flipped me the bird!”

The driver stopped short, her passenger rolled down her window and began shouting, “I was talking to my friend! Aren’t I allowed to talk to my friend? You got a problem with that?!”


SUV pulled forward, yelling.

SUV backed up, more yelling.

Me: “You weren’t talking, you flipped me the bird!”

Obviously she wanted to pick a fight: with her window rolled up, she could not possibly have heard what I said to Al. Since her lips did not move until she began yelling and cursing at me, I must assume that she and her friend communicate telepathically, unless of course, repeatedly flicking a middle finger was a new kind of sign language for the driver to read.

As she threw her car back into reverse, I replied, “Birds of a feather flock together.” Translation, you are friends with the most complained about tenant; your behavior is no surprise.

While backing out of the lot, the driver almost plowed into a car driving down the street.

Shucks, I would have enjoyed being an eyewitness for the police and insurance adjusters.

A while later, a tenant who had witnessed the great bird flip off, asked if I ‘was okay?’ and ‘who were those people?’ I mentioned the name. I heard the eye roll through the phone.