One Really Bad Job Ad

Job hunting is tough enough, some ads cram the company history, extensive software requirements, plus an incredible list of responsibilities, then will add a punch line for the requirements such as: High School diploma or GED, 2 years experience.

So this Secretary ad was posted on a recent job board (language is for real, I added the comments in italics, remember, I am an editor).

The Actual Ad with Comments:

Full time, established, small professional pleasant, busy office with flex hours. No weekends or evenings.

• This is not a full sentence or coherent thought.
• Comma needed between “professional pleasant”
• Description of business?
• Flex hours, so I can sorta come in late?

Variety of secretarial duties, (No phones), Draft reports, correspondence and Internet research.

• Why is ‘No’ capped?
• Commas before and after the parenthesis are redundant.
• Why is ‘Draft’ capped, it doesn’t start a sentence, however, points for capping “Internet.”

Skills: Proficient with PC’s, Microsoft Office; Word, Outlook. Photoshop or Image Expert, (Or similar) . Excellent grammar, minimum 60 words per minute.

• PC is marked possessive here, or is it how many plural PCs must I operate—separately or at the same time?
• A semi-colon does not precede a list!
• What the heck is “image expert” or similar?
• Again, a comma BEFORE parens?
• “Excellent grammar”…Have you actually read your copy?! (Maybe English is your 3rd language, if so, pardon me.)
• What is 60 words per minute? My reading speed or must I assume 60 typing?

Must be professional self starter, organized, able to multi-task, detail oriented, interest in the Arts a plus. Salary based on abilities.

• Where is the hyphen? ‘Self-starter’ would be correct
• “Organized.” Why bother, the writer is not organized, why should the candidate even try?
• Multitask is one word, way overused, but still is one word.
• “Detail oriented,” Whew, because details are lacking here.
• “Interest in the Arts” finally a clue to the business!
• Why is salary mentioned here AND at the end of this convoluted mess?

Paid vacation and benefits available.

• A long vacation and massive benefits will be required. (Meds may also be necessary.)

E-mail resume and salary requirement, do not list salary negotiable. Immediate opening - with training.

• Does all this information belong on the same line?
• “Immediate opening” scares me, I can only speculate why the last person left.
• Poor use of a hyphen: Hyphens connect words; en dash between dates; and em dash between words. Maybe only word geeks know that.
• WHAT training besides the software requirements listed above?

No phone calls please. Thank you.

• Ya didn’t list a #$@#$ phone number for me to call!

My reply:

So this was actually part of my cover letter:

“However, I am curious about the job description that was posted, as it is rather chaotic and full of grammar and typographical errors, which invites me to speculate: is this part of the pre-interview test or do you really need a word-warrior as myself?”

If this company calls me back I will definitely let you know!