Homemade Sweet & Hot Pepper Relish

There is more to me than juggling tenants and contractors; I love to cook—from scratch. Tenants have been known to linger by my front door, ask what smells soooo good, and then boldly ask for samples. I usually oblige.

A few weeks ago, as I was wandering the supermarket aisles, I admired the very pretty but overpriced delicacies such as roasted peppers or hot pepper relish. As I read the labels on the pricey gourmet jars, then those in the economic section, it wasn’t hard to figure it out how I could make these at home. I picked out a variety of peppers, and please be careful: Do not handle them then touch your face, or eyes!

Now I do not eat hot peppers, but my brother-in-law does. I grew up on very bland cooking, but his mother rocked in the kitchen! I did owe him a big favor and he had earned a great present in return.

As soon as I came back home, I pulled out the cutting board, a ridiculously small food processor and went to work slicing it all up. When I was all done, for less than $3.00, and a few tears shed by me, my brother-in-law was in heaven. This Sweet & Hot Pepper Relish has become a staple in my kitchen, batches have been passed out to friends, and it makes one of our contractors happy to come work here.

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Sweet & Hot Pepper Relish

2 Poblano Peppers (I had listed Pomodoro peppers by error. Sorry.)

6 Chili Peppers

½ Red or Yellow Pepper (for the sweet taste)

½ Red Onion (or Yellow Onion)

5-6 Cloves of Garlic

Salt (I use Sea Salt, table salt is fine)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil (enough to cover peppers)

1 tsp of Red Wine Vinegar (White Vinegar can be used)

When slicing the peppers, remove the centers, veins and seeds

Blend all vegetables in the food processor, a fine chop not a puree

Add a little salt

Pour enough Extra Virgin Olive Oil to cover

Add Red Wine Vinegar

Stir thoroughly

Refrigerate. Good for 2 weeks.

It starts off a little sweet, and then the heat will kick in. Enjoy!

Pix from www.themexicanconnection.com

Music Bullies: Part II

Granted, this tenant actually was a professional musician, and back in the day had been a lead singer for a popular band, however, tenants only rent the INSIDE of their apartment, NOT their neighbors' apartment, nor the whole outdoors.

This request to keep music within their own walls has frequently sparked some heated, Freedom of Speech and Declaration of Rights rebuttals.

Let me state clearly, again:

Tenants pay for the inside of the apartments: their music, TVs, xBoxes, and musical instruments MAY NOT invade thy neighbors apartment. Maybe your neighbors want to enjoy their own shows and music, or even take a nap without your audio invasion.

I know, it is a tough concept.

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One fellow, drunkenly argued with me that he was allowed, by law, XX decibels of sound until 10 PM.

I reminded him that I write the leases and that by tomorrow morning there could be a clarifying addendum added to his lease.

There was a stare down.

He backed off, sadly only temporarily. C'est le vie.

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Years ago, I rented elsewhere and a new neighbor just loved showing off his sound system: Other neighbors tried to reason and negotiate with him.

I didn’t.

I informed him that his music was blasting in my living room and that his share of rent for my living room would be $$.

That was a concept that he could understand. (Or maybe the fact that my son was still living home and stood 6’2”. Don’t know, just fun to speculate.)

This tenant was paid back in spades, as neighbor above him had a wild, loud party that kept him up most of the night. Yeah! He did behave better after he suffered a lost night’s sleep.

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But I digress, back to the musician:

Some days he would stand outside his door and play a few guitar riffs, some tunes and it was actually pleasant, however, some days he placed the speakers outside on the deck, and then sat INSIDE on his living room floor while playing a guitar, that was weird! That fact that he was totally surprised and confused that neighbors objected to his free concerts—well, that was weird too.

We were grateful that his band rehearsals we NOT held here.

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I vote for headphones or manners. I do sometimes threaten to break out the Merle, or maybe Kate Smith belting out the Star Spangled Banner (Go online, do a search. Go ahead, ya got time, both musicians are American legends.)

Tikki Torches on a Wooden Deck

Need I say more?

The week before, I posted on EVERY door the yearly letter concerning fire safety, ex., no BBQs on the walkways, as they are wood.

The staircases are wood.

The overhangs are wood.

The walkways are our common decks and the ONLY way in or out of our apartments. So when I caution about fire safety, must I include every possible flame or combustible element and the potential dangers thereof?

We all are guilty of dumb moves, confess, this includes all of you, however, 6 foot tall, Tikki Torches strapped to the outside railings is a dumb move!

I appreciated the tenants who called to warn me. When I called the guilty tenant, he was actually surprised that I objected to his decorations.

Really? Torches, filled with a combustible accelerant, lit while strapped to a wooden support post, flames dancing 2-3 feet below a wooden overhang.

Heck, all I can say is, “Got marshmallows?”

Spring÷Winter=SPRINTER

Sprinter, an odd piece of slang that has been bandied about this very tediously long and cold winter: Winter overrode Spring.

According to some urban slang online dictionaries, the word "Sprinter," hails from Canada. (These dictionaries also include some very randy definitions, which don’t apply here).

I believe Sprinter = Spring divided by Winter or Winter overriding Spring. Whatever. Even when the sun did come out, the cold and damp was unrelenting, and we couldn’t enjoy it.

Then we had a few good days. Yaay!

It was wonderful, neighbors were out smiling, chatting and the Harley motorcycles were pulled out of their garages, shined up and let out for a run! In a few weeks, the ‘pretty’ bikes will be out, ya know, the Ninjas. Back in the day, I owned at 350cc Honda and I rode it on many cold, clear days of winter in the hills of New Jersey.

Yes, that was sarcasm and bragging.

But today . . . the trees are budding, some hardy windsurfers and kite surfers have been spotted in the ocean, and soon the smell of BBQs and sunscreen will fill the air. Big Smile!

Summer at the Jersey Shore: music, great food festivals, boardwalks, beach, surf, some crowds, some chaos, but dunking in the surf, then lying on the beach is pure heaven!

Cranky Tenants: Part I

Face it, everyone who has ever worked customer service will agree, “The customer is NOT always right.”

Outwardly we smile, placate and apply our best people skills, but we bite our tongues and remind ourselves that this is a business and customer satisfaction = customer retention = $$: Or in my case, tenant retention. And right now, we have 100% occupancy, which = $$ = Owner Satisfaction.

So the other day, as I was passing out notes to all the tenants, the usual stuff of safety, BBQs and parking restrictions (only one car per apartment may park in the lot).

• Rude Dude: Calls to me from the flight above and demands to know what the notes say.
• Me: “The usual, landlord notices.”
• Rude Dude, is glaring at me, he wants to know, now!
• Me thinking: I am not shouting across the decks, nor am I running upstairs and giving you special delivery, you can wait while I finish posting the notices on this deck.
• Finally, I worked my way to his apartment, then handed him the notices and walked to the next apartment door.
• Rude Dude, reads the parking restrictions and states: “This does NOT apply to me!” then ripped the notices.
• Me, firmly: “Sorry, it applies to every tenant.” And I kept moving onto the next row of apartment doors.
• Rude Dude: “We’ll see!”
• Me, knowing that this guy likes to complain about me to the owners, I simply moved on.
• Rude Dude had more to say, but I wasn’t taking the bait.
• Next Tenant, came out, caught the end of his act, smiled and said: “Don’t worry, I got your back.”
• Me: “Awwhh thanks.”

Rude Dude had all three cars parked right under my door, even made show of jockeying them around.

He just shot himself in the foot. His neighbors will want to know why he gets three spaces and they get none, and why they must park on the street, sometimes a block away. He needs to read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Yep, don’t ya just love customer service!