I tell tenants, that 70% of all stuff will get back to me: Someone will always throw someone else under the bus, but then they will be buddies and hang out the next day. Go Figure. I am not that forgiving!
Yep, Playground Monitor is my other title.
People, puhleaze! All your front doors open onto a common walkway/deck and ALL face the parking lot. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the cliques, the buddies, the alliances and from whence the rumors began. That is, if the occasional shouting match from the decks to the parking lot below weren’t a clue.
They are the toughest. We know before the hubby does who is zooming who. Worse, the hubby usually considers the ‘other guy’ to be his friend, they hang out and even work together.
Can you not see the disaster coming? Again!
A few years ago, it was like a Jerry Springer episode with the boyfriend leaping over the 2nd railings down to the parking lot.
The adults were ‘adultering’ like jack rabbits.
Their grown children were stopping by, bellowing at the boyfriend.
The grandchildren were crying. (Why would you drag them along?)
The police were called, a lot.
They all moved. Divorce followed. Sadly, the fatal attraction couple is still together, and one of them wanted to Friend me on Facebook? Why? Yeah, I found the “Block” switch on Facebook, then filled in a few other names as a preemptive strike.
We’ve had our share of single tenants with a revolving roommate door. First of all, we had rented to a single person, because if we had seen that roommate(s), we would’ve killed your application.
Of course, the knuckle-dragger is just staying with you until his place is ready.
Of course, he is only visiting (it’s been several months).
Of course, the friends who stop by very late at nite and only stay a minute aren’t a concern.
Of course, the fact that the recyclable bin is suddenly overflowing with liquor bottles is merely a coincidence.
We don’t like drama. Domestic issues, police at midnite. Locks being changed—several times.
Because why bother? Next week it’s a new face, same problem.
Maybe these lovelorn tenants need to raise their standards a tad.
There’s another kind of problem: We are just friends.
Yeah, and I have a condo on the Brooklyn Bridge to sell ya.
“We are just friends” doesn’t fool anyone when you are standing shoulder-to-shoulder, leaning in to each other, smiling and sharing a smoke.
Same dude also has a tramp sneaking in with him that I supposedly don’t know about. Ha! Busy dude.
Need I say more. If you can hear your neighbor’s music and TV thru the walls, ya might want to keep it down when entertaining late at nite.
As I stated at the beginning. . . Expect no Privacy. All doors open to the parking lot and gossip travels fast.
If you are single, don’t date another tenant.
If you are married, PLEASE don’t date another tenant.
If you are married, PLEASE don’t have your special friend stop by only during the day, then cry about the consequences!
Men—tuck your testosterone back in your pocket and do not play were you live!
Women—please, men think with their testosterone, do not play were you live!
Because a love affair gone south means one of you have to move, and thus the cycle will begin again, hopefully at another complex
No comments:
Post a Comment