Prospective Tenants: A Bit Ballsy & a Tad Twitchy

‘Twas just after dinner, a pair of tenants knocked at the door and we waved them in. As they stepped forward, I spied a couple turning the corner on the stairs, looking through our door, then yank it open and boldly walked thru: without knocking or even attempting to look at me through the door as if to ask, “if it was ok to walk in.”
The first couple turned around, looked at them, looked at us: clearly, they didn’t know them. I stepped past them, blocked the rude couple and stated: “People KNOCK before just walking into my home.”
Rude Dude, without apology or explanation of why they just walked in stated: “We want to look at a model apartment.”
Me: “We don’t have any models or empties to show you, we are fully occupied.”
Rude Dude, with attitude stated: “Your sign outside says, ‘Vacancy.’ ”
Me, thinking: Oh you are such a lying idiot! I wrote, designed and ordered those signs on the side of the building! The word ‘VACANCY’ DOES NOT EXIST. The sign is a standard “For Rent” with the apartments’ description and contact information.
Me: “Excuse you, it says ‘For Rent’ and we do not have any vacancies. (nor EVER will have one for you two.)
Then I got a good look at them: Well dressed, uptown clothes, pressed, good haircuts; however, wife was a little disheveled and a bit twitchy.
Twitchy is exactly how crack-heads move, even when they are standing still. Sadly, I have seen a few over the years and they are NOT welcomed here.
I didn’t offer them an application, and firmly bid them farewell.
We all got a good look at their car, a late model Lincoln Towncar!? Are you Kidding ME?! They were looking for a summer rental, a room for the night or simply a place to get high?
The really great tenants that were standing in the living room when all this began, got a taste of some of the crazies that I deal with, and how quickly I weed out undesirable prospective neighbors. They did commend me and we had a good laugh. Whew!
Hey, these apartments are our homes and we all enjoy our little “Peace of Heaven” on the Jersey Shore. Big Smiles.

Murphy’s Law and the Domino Effect

Most women, when they learn that they will have the home to themselves for a few hours, don’t always dream of luxurious bubble baths, some of us think, “Great! I can get the cleaning done without anyone underfoot!"

I had hopes of not just vacuuming and straightening up, but of scrubbing the kitchen cabinets.

Exciting, I know!!

But, this is stuff that actually needs to be done every now and then, and it is easier to do with no one underfoot.

Murphy’s Law

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

1. Emptied all the trash
2. Gathered up the bags
3. Stuffed them into the larger kitchen trash bag
4. Carried kitchen trash out the front door onto the deck

Domino Effect

• Crap! On the deck, oozing out from the trash bag, a large smelly pool of goo.
• Look back through front door…trail of goo on carpet, trail of goo on kitchen floor.
• Run to grab another trash bag to stuff first leaky bag into
• Fill a pitcher of water and suds, and grab a broom to wash goo off deck. Pray that NO ONE is walking under the deck boards as they will get an unwanted shower.
• Exam the trail thru living room and kitchen.
• Pull out carpet shampooer and floor steamer.

It was like slow moving dominos toppling: My easy morning slipped away and was replaced by some damn hard work! Unfair!

When shampooing a rug, you just can’t do one dirty section: the entire rug must be done. And the “Domino Effect” worked its way down the hall and into the bedroom.

Hours later, the place looked and smelled great, but as I was sitting in my clean kitchen, the kitchen cabinets were laughing at me and demanding, “When was their turn for a thorough cleaning?”

Ha! Not anytime soon.