So You Want My Job!

First the Snow

As if we have not seen enough from Winter Storm Hercules and Juno, send us a few more inches of snow.

Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you Weather Channel that called it wrong.

So I called people, mustered the troops, got a few shovelers out there, not a problem. BUT, the fellow walking the salt spreader around the parking lot, left the spreader BEHIND Eeyore’s car (remember the sad donkey from “Winnie the Pooh”). Now Eeyore had to walk PAST the darn thing, but didn’t notice it.

But then he backed over it and dragged it about 30 feet down the parking lot.

Really? Ya heard the noise, thought something was wrong with your car, but kept driving anyway?! Aaargh!

Next the Laundry

I have explained, demonstrated, requested, reminded and put notes on every single washer and dryer, just what constitutes a full load: and DO NOT PACK the machines! We own the laundry machines, it is our concession: Lots of repair bills lately, all profits lost.

So Dude is upstairs swearing to me that he was careful, did not overfill, but the dryer won’t work. We gave him his money back, and then I followed him downstairs toting my own laundry basket.

Obviously in his universe, a triple load of towels and delicates (ya can’t sort?) packed into a dryer, constitutes a reasonable load. I pointed to my basket of laundry and stated, “That basket is two (2) loads of laundry!”

Dude complained, thought I was unreasonable. He "can't AFFORD the cost of laundry if he breaks them into smaller loads." We need to buy bigger and better washers.

These are top loaders, not commercial sized front loaders at the laundrymat. Which part of my conversations have you not understood? I did explain to him, that given the amount of tenants, cost of machines, that the profit margin will not justify such a purchase: He should look up ROI (Return On Investment).

He pouted. He called the Business Manager (our boss), and complained that we should buy better machines.

A second tenant overhead all of this, and she texted me her condolences for his rudeness. Awwwh.

I threw my laundry into the locked supply closet; clearly my wash will have to wait.

Which Part of NO Don’t You Understand?

All day, he kept drying his clothes in the sole working dryer. AGAIN he over packed several loads.

Next Contractors

They came to fix the plumbing, but because their customer service skills are abysmal I had to babysit them in the tenant’s apartment. 5 1/2 hours!

While they were taking apart the shower/tub faucets, I noticed the really nice, thick towels that they threw on the floor: Many hours on the floor, with their gritty boots tromping over them.

The repair did not go well. Water was shut for the ENTIRE complex for several hours. I received LOTS of calls and text messages asking, “When was the water coming back?”

Finally, it was almost fixed. They turned the water back on. It leaked, like Niagara Falls.

Excuse the ever-running video, new laptop, new software, I'll get it right another day. Sigh.

Chaos ensued. Towels are now soaking wet on floor, but as I shook them out, I noticed dish towels that looked ‘just like mine.’

Me to Worker: “THESE are my dish towels and are those my bath towels?! Where did you get them?!”

Worker, laughing: “And I thank you for them.” Then blamed his helper.

It seems the Helper went into the Laundry Supply closet, and instead of grabbing the big, drop cloths folded on the shelves, the idiot GRABBED MY BATH TOWELS and DISH TOWELS from my laundry baskets in the back! AAAARRRGH! So glad my silk blouses weren’t on top.

May I get some sympathy?

At 3:20 PM, the guys were finally winding down; I asked the tenant if she still needed me, as her husband was now home, just in case the contractor got out of line, again.

It has been a very cold day; I did not have lunch or coffee and was out of smokes. I have to go back tomorrow and shampoo her carpets, as nasty, wet construction boots have been tracked across her rugs for six (6) hours.

Home at Last. Ha!

Before I came upstairs, I checked the mail, and Yippee! A check for my freelance work was in! Ran to the bank, did errands, came home, put on the coffee and declared that, “I was in for the night!”

Wrong. A call came in about a busted faucet…It’s been a long day.

Winter Storm Juno Sucks!

Tuesday Morning

Yeah, we knew it was coming. However, the week before, a good friend was in a car wreck, and I had promised that I would drive around to pick up and drop off her paperwork; about 40-50 mile round trip on some very rural/country roads. Yeah, I left real early that morning in hopes of avoiding the storm.

By 10 a.m. that snow was blowing sideways, and I repeatedly called home to check on conditions. Glad I did the favor on Tuesday, roads were so dangerous Wednesday and Thursday.

It Was Minus What?!

This is not first snowstorm I have lived through. I survived living in Denver, CO! But this cold, plus the wind blowing off the ocean was unbearable. All any of us could work outside was 50 minutes, NOT even a full hour.

To Keep Warm

My living room became the warming station, lots of coffee served and a collection of shovels, miscellaneous hats and boots, plus pellets of Ice Melt coated the carpet. In other words, it was trashed.

On my sofa I tossed a hair dryer and an electric blanket; on the floor I placed a heating pad under a towel. Workers came in, kicked off boots, placed feet on heating pad, wrapped selves and coats in heated blanket, then used the blow dryer to quick warm up and dry off gloves and boots.

This Cold is MEAN!

It has been five days without a let up! I have been out there leading the team. I wanted to play the Girlie Card.

After the plow came through the parking lot, all cars had to be jockeyed out to Ocean Avenue¬about 75 yards away. That is a mean walk back: AGAINST the Wind. (No that is not the Seeger song. This link is. Sigh.)

Thankful for technology:

Nearly all tenants have cell phones: so easy to just text them all to move their cars in/out. They were so good!

Hot Chocolate

One of our newest tenants came knocking on the door, bearing a tray of hot chocolate for all us workers. Aaawwwh! I had been hunkered down, curled up under the heated blanket, but I sure got up for that, it hit the spot. She’s a keeper.

Busted Pipes

And this morning, as I harbored thoughts of sleeping in, huddled so comfy under the blankets, came the first call of a water leak.

Crap, but that is a topic for the next blog.

Enough with the Hugging!

Hugging is NOT the new Handshake! A good, solid, old-fashioned handshake is all that is necessary during introductions.

Just because I am new in your church, PTA or Amway meeting, does not grant you a full on hug! We just met. I didn’t catch your name.

I recently went to a new church, and while I was still standing after the singing, Miss Enthusiasm suddenly appeared at my side, rambling about how she did not get to greet me when I walked in.

Me thinking: Well, there was a woman at the door. She handed me a program and bid me welcome. That was sufficient.

Miss Enthusiasm wanted to welcome me to the church and hurriedly stated her name: I stepped back and extended my hand for a handshake.

But she wanted a hug, as I stepped back she dove in for a full enthusiastic hug. She got an air hug, the kind stars give on the Red Carpet. (And I left church early to avoid any more Enthusiastic huggers.)

What is wrong with respecting Personal Space?

Have you ever choked on cologne or perfume from the Hugger? And that perfume is now imparted to your clothes, then all day that super sweet, strong perfume follows you around, and other people think that it belongs to you. Crap!

And let’s not forget the out-n-out creep: As I stepped out the door leaving a house party, with my head turned still calling out my good-byes, I walked into a full-on body hug of the local Lothario…with a kiss that missed my lips, but lingered way too long on my neck.

And people think that I overreacted the next few times that I ran into him. Thoughts of a Taser gun still linger in my head. Sigh.

Let me explain: I am not a standoffish prude, but as a woman, I have been ambushed by hugs that were more invasive than an airport security sweep: Creepy.

All I’m asking is please save the hugs and kisses for family and close friends¬—and that includes not scaring the cute kids who have no idea that you are a long lost, and enthusiastic relative who only pops in at holidays.

Unless you are handing me a million dollar lottery check, then hug away.

Minus 10 degrees F?!

I give you a hint: the F might not stand for Fahrenheit, or even frozen!

This story is from emails between my cousin in much warmer California and myself over the winter storm Hercules, which was followed by the Artic Blast.

The Kimmel Report

But my cousin, from California (a former native of Jersey) sent me this link, with much sympathy. It seems that there are people in the country crying because if is 50 degrees outside and a little breezy. Have a look, and laugh (and you readers from Moscow, you will really laugh):

http://conservativebyte.com/2014/01/jimmy-kimmel-reminds-viewers-just-sensitive-los-angeles-reporters-cold-weather/

The Kimmel report, well those people need MY reality check.

I know about cold.

Many years ago, I lived in Denver, Colorado, and worked at the Denver Airport for a spell. The employees had to park several miles away, out on the prairie, then wait for a shuttle bus to come get them.

I was out there the night it hit minus 24, I don’t even know what the wind chill was, but coyotes were howling. Ice encrusted my old car, then a 1993 Hyundai Scoupe, with three squirrels under the hood. I say three squirrels as there was a chronic oil leak in one cylinder, so I can’t say it really worked.

Humidity in Denver

Denver is a prairie, kinda like a high desert: really dry. As I was driving to work, the newscasters were complaining about the humidity, and OMG, the problems with their hair.

Now remember, I live in Jersey, humidity so thick you can slice it. I have dyslexic hair to begin with, but in Denver, I had only ONE bad hair day! Because the humidity is around 3. Yes 3. But that day, it hit 10!

R U kidding me?!

That's how I feel about those poor, pitiful creatures complaining about 50F.

It was minus 10!

And that wasn't bad enough. There were trash bags in front of the dumpster. Guess who had to go pick up? (And a princess dumped her trash on the ground and walked away. I corrected her. She replied, “Everyone else is doing it.”)

My neighbor needed a jump.

I was in jammies.

My locks were frozen.

Later the rude, nasty contractor needed a jump. Yeah, I made sure his crew knew they owed me big time.

My face was so numb, it was as if the dentist shot my whole jaw.

Dressing in layers is not enough: My ass froze thru my jeans.

I want to hit the lottery and just fly around the globe to wherever it is 70F+

This will make a blog.

I am going to build a bonfire now.