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Sunday, August 18, 2013

What an Eviction Looks Like



After the Business Manager loses a day driving to the courthouse in another county to fill out court papers, then wastes another day driving back to court to meet with the judge, the Sheriff’s Department will post this on the door. The second note regarding the sale is optional: but this tenant left behind ALL his furniture and a whole lot of crap.





This is the pile of stuff I had to drag out of EVERY closet and sort for trash and what could be sold or donated. A Delonghi Espresso machine was part of the mess. Not kidding.

He was a heavy smoker who NEVER cracked a window to ventilate, and obviously never cleaned. The apartment was shut for over two months and it stank like cheap cigars. Below are window blinds coated with dirt and nicotine.


This is the not-so-amusing sign some workmen left behind in the bathroom.


May I get PLEASE get some sympathy?


Monday, August 12, 2013

And this one Skipped Out in the Middle of the Night!

Months ago, I was sent upstairs for a ‘cold body’ check, as we had not seen this tenant in some time. In other words, I had to go into the apartment, call his name and check to see if he was in there: dead or alive. Not funny as I pulled a massive down comforter that was bundled on his sofa and I hoped that he was NOT under it. I was suspicious, lots of furniture, kitchen stuff, boxes half packed and the medicine cabinet was cleaned out. A few weeks went by, and we heard rumors of California and that there had been some ‘secret’ sales going on; again I went back into check.

Whoa! The Stench!

The bastard had shut off the electric, returned the cable box and had his mail held. The food in the fridge had fermented. Neighbors came out of their apartments horrified at the smell. I had to clean out rotten food and yet another stinkee fridge. Yeah, I know, the glamorous part of my job.

Jekyll and Hyde: This tenant was a professional artist, had mood swings, but was often normal. What possesses a person to skip out in the dead of night and leave all that furniture, flat screen TV, quite a bit of art equipment AND over a hundred matted prints?!

Greedy Tenants

Next I was inundated with several tenants laying claim to stuff left behind. Really, the young guy who does not work, does not even offer to help out, expected to be given the flat screen TV? Others asked for the new furniture, still others demanded to shop through the clothing. I suggested they shop at the local Salvation Army, because I have considered donating all this stuff to them.

Overwhelming Stuff

It took me hours of sweat just to empty out his closets and pile the stuff around the living room. In EVERY closet I found a coffee maker: Including an espresso machine! Open boxes of food, greasy pots and pans in the cabinets, and dead flies everywhere.

Eviction

Evicting a tenant, even one who clearly had abandoned his property, can take many weeks, during which time, legally, I could not even go into the apartment to clean the stove. The coup de grĂ¢ce to this debacle, the sheriff’s department lost the eviction paperwork, so we were delayed another month.

$$ Problems

The owner has lost several thousand dollars in rent, plus legal fees. Several good prospective tenants were lost: and one was a detective–and whenever an officer moves in, all neighborhood crime diminishes. Drat.

I had an overwhelming amount of stuff to sort, pack, sell or donate.

The Computer, the Final Insult

So he left his PC. It was not enough that he disconnected every wire, but he tied them in knots around the furniture legs. Over 30 minutes unraveling and reconnecting that mess. When I finally booted the computer up, I found it completely wiped clean, except for two shortcuts on the desktop: one was whiny letter to the business manager, from several months ago; the other was a shortcut for “Facebook Hacking.” What a child.

However, he did recently download some vile porn, I suspect just for spite. I didn’t open them, the titles alone were revolting.

That deed says more about his character than it does about mine.


Wednesday, July 31, 2013

So I Screamed Like a Girl!
Why Dead Mice Suck.

I overslept.

I heard the diesel engine of the contractor’s truck pull into the lot.

I jumped out of bed and ran BAREFOOT to open the front door.

I ran BAREFOOT back through the apartment and grabbed the keys off the kitchen table.

I put my glasses on.

I glanced back at the front door.

I saw THIS on the rug.

Yeah, it was lying on the same path I took TO the door and FROM the door: barefoot. (Now to be truthful, this isn’t the actual mouse, I used this pix from ludicdespair.blogspot.com. A dead mouse is the same regardless where it died and who took the pix!)

I screamed like a girl!

The contractor came in.

I screamed at him.

Confusion ensued.

The contractor thought I was yelling at him.

I simply did not have sufficient, coherent words to explain why I was screaming.

Finally, the contractor understood me. He said, “I thought it was a TOY mouse!”

I begged him to get rid of it.

He obliged. He laughed.

I thanked him.

The cat is in the doghouse. Like she cares.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Prospective Tenants: Sneaky Summer Rental Scams

We are a year-round only rental community–One Year Leases ONLY. However, we do receive our share of inquiries, some genuinely innocent, and a few downright sneaky.

Summer Rental Sneak #1

A woman came to the door, without an appointment, inquiring about a rental. Since I was in the middle of cooking (yes, I love my meals, burned or cold), I stepped outside to speak with her.

She is looking for rental, first she wants to do month-to-month, And THEN she will sign a yearly lease. She gave many excuses about her health (but would not share the details), relocating from Manhattan, and then wanting to check out the neighborhood before committing to a lease.

Bull! It was early Spring; she is looking for a cheap summer rental. We are 100 yards from the boardwalk and surf. We are not spending the money sprucing up an apartment, and paying the township fees only for you to decide in September that you want to move on. Did she think that she is the first person to pitch that con?

Happily, we are 100% occupied; the next vacancy will be late summer.

Moved her on.

Summer Rental Sneak #2

I was outside working on the front garden when a man stopped and inquired about summer rentals in the area. I obliged and suggested a few.

At some point, his wife walked up, and instead of joining the conversation, she stood behind him and avoided eye contact with me. That’s curiously rude.

Rude Couple: “Asked details about these units, price and availability.”

Me: “Sorry, no units currently available. We are not summer rentals, but the price would be $$$ for a year lease.”

Rude Couple: “Oh, for that price, it would be worth it for me to rent.”

Me thinking: Whoa! I am trying to build a good community with nice neighbors, the last thing I want is a vacant unit 9 months out of the year and I DO NOT want you, your family and friends descending upon us for 3 months of vacation partying, and grabbing every parking spot. Plus protecting a vacant unit. If you are RUDE to me now, how rude will you and your extended family be to other tenants when you come to visit?!

Me stated: “I’m sorry, we are fully occupied, and the units lack amenities such as dishwashers and stainless steel appliances.” The units are very nice, but I am not encouraging a 'summer rental option' to this rude couple!

Rude Couple walked away.

Whew!


Friday, July 19, 2013

Fresh Feathers Among the Chicken Cutlets!

While perusing the assorted chicken cutlets at the local BJ's (I first wrote Wegmans, sorry), I spotted this small bird! It perched atop its not-so-lucky relatives, then flitted around the meat case before taking off for the rafters.

If you look carefully, the bird is reflected in the mirrors over the meat case.

Aren't cell phone cameras wonderful, that we can capture such great moments?